Don’t Stop Being Yourself
We must not lose our identity, we must not deceive ourselves. You don’t have to stop being yourself to please others. If you do, you will inevitably sabotage yourself.
When we know a person and are interested in them, we want to impress. This, at times, leads us to act in an artificial way. However, with this attitude we lie to ourselves and also to the people in front of us.
We will betray their expectations with lies, they will understand that they have been attracted to elements of our person who, in reality, are fictitious … You must always be yourself if you do not want to get a false love.
The magic of the beginning
Starting a relationship is magical. Everything seems to flow mystically, without any effort. However, over time, this wears off. Suddenly you have to strain on things that we didn’t have to worry about before.
Perhaps this time has come because you have transformed into your partner’s ideal. You wanted to meet the expectations they had placed in you. Not only do you fall in love with someone you hope fits your standards, but you try to make the other fall in love by transforming yourself into what he or she desires.
Where has your authenticity gone? What happened to your “me”? You tried to disguise it to throw yourself headlong into a false love. All the things in common that you created with the other person were false.
Your fear of not liking you, your fear of your flaws frightening her, have made you act wrong. That early magic won’t fade away because it has to do so sooner or later, but because the way you kicked off the relationship wasn’t sincere or right.
The importance of being assertive
From the first moment we entertain a relationship with a person we like, it is essential to express our tastes, our interests and show our true character. We don’t have to hide what we don’t like, because over time we will stop doing it and our partner will be confused. Did not know!
Let’s take an example. Imagine that the person you are in a relationship with smokes. She always did, but you never expressed your disapproval when she smoked in the car or around the house.
However, one day, you get nervous. You get angry, yell at your partner and ask him if he doesn’t realize he is bothering you. His answer will surely be: “I didn’t know it bothered you, you never told me.”
We could give many other similar examples, which would highlight even more the lack of assertiveness that occurs in such situations. We realize that, in the desire to conquer, we are deceiving.
The problems that arise when you start being yourself
Theoretically, everything is fine, until you begin to be yourself. Because the mask you have chosen cannot be worn for too long.
That’s when the problems arise. The feeling that was created with your partner is altered. Now you are finally assertive, but it’s too late. There are things about your partner that you begin to dislike, and the same goes for him. Start complaining about things that didn’t bother you before.
Arguments, anger and conflicts that cause misunderstanding and you don’t know how to go back. All this wears out. You will believe that you no longer want your partner, that love has vanished. Nonetheless, you don’t realize that it is all the result of the false love you created together.
Never stop being yourself, even if sometimes the temptation is strong. It is difficult to be aware of how we act initially, but we must make an effort not to feel frustrated, hurt and disillusioned.
Don’t be afraid to show yourself for who you are. Whoever falls in love with you will love your true self, not the mask you wore to notice you. Is very important.
If alongside the person you love you can’t be who you really are from the start, the relationship isn’t worth it. Don’t stop being yourself and you will get the relationship you have always wanted.
