Time Doesn’t Erase Things, It Puts Them In Their Place

If we remain helpless, time cannot heal wounds on its own. We must help him with a positive attitude and always looking to the present. 
Time does not erase things, it puts them in their place

Unlike the popular saying, time does not erase everything  and complicated situations do not resolve themselves simply by letting months or years pass.

Time is not a passive agent capable of erasing what we do not like. This is achieved only because the passage of time is accompanied by our mind and our way of managing reality.

A mind that is obsessed with traumatic facts will be unable to move forward, even after 5 or 10 years. When we cling to something, time simply does not flow.  It is essential to understand that the pages of the calendar, as different events occur, put everything in its place.

What has hurt us is a thing of the past, and it must not affect us. The important things, on the other hand, those that give us strength, energy and happiness, must accompany us every day, throughout our life path.

Today in our space we want to offer you some simple strategies, so that your memory becomes your lifesaver. The best way to heal wounds.

Time and memory: the best sculptors

Experts in memory and neuroscience tell us that the more we evoke a memory, the more we modify it. By this we don’t mean that we modify every aspect of it, we don’t completely distort the real picture.

What we mean is that the more we cling to an image of the past, be it positive or negative, the more its emotionality intensifies and the more this thought makes us suffer. Consequently, the more our present changes.

Let’s take an example, the most common: the end of a relationship. Even if it’s been 5 or 10 years now, we keep thinking about those past days, complaining, at times, of not having fought hard enough or not having been as the other wanted.

  • When our mind is anchored to a concrete wind of the past, we stop investing in ourselves in a full and healthy way.
  • The past is not a scenario on which to start new battles,  on which to invest efforts. The past does not exist, it does not exist. On the contrary, the here and now is what you can see and touch.
  • It is necessary to put everything in its place. It is time that helps us do this, along with our willpower and commitment.
woman flying and baboon

Each person in his place, each memory at the right time

People spend a whole day remembering. We are the result of our experiences, of the education received, of the society in which we live and of our emotions and values, the ones we have internalized and made our own over the years.

We could say that it is time that shapes us. Nonetheless, this image would give a somewhat passive aspect to us.

Because, in reality, what we are is due to all the interpretations that we ourselves have made of everything seen and experienced. We are not passive agents. 

  • The same fact experienced by two people at the same time is understood differently.
  • For example, it is common for two brothers, who grew up in the same family environment, to remember things differently.
  • If one of the two is permanently attached to a traumatic event, without facing it, his life will remain anchored in the past, so much so that he will lose the present.
  • However, the other sibling may, for example, have overcome a trauma with a combative attitude and have been able to put past events in their place, overcoming them to build a present with greater integrity, resilience and courage.
woman's eyes and white doves

Use your memory as a springboard, not a sofa

Time does not cure us if we do not seek medicine. It doesn’t change bad times to turn them into positive ones. Time is limited to passing the days, the months, the years …

  • We are the ones who have to give movement to our life, to the meaningful, happy and full moments. For this reason, it is necessary to use the memory as a stepping stone, and not as a sofa.
  • If something in the past has hurt you, do not accumulate resentment or hatred. Be able to heal that wound to focus on the important things: live, be happy.
  • If you feed on nostalgia, of what made you feel good in the past, you will join an “I” that is not real. What really matters is the “here and now”, who you are now,  who you want to be and to listen to at all times.

Memory must always be an incentive, the reason to fight for your present.

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