Toxic Parents: Find Out If You Are Too
Those who have children often tend to stress that they are not toxic parents at all. The truth, for better or for worse, is that no one is born a parent yet. Becoming one requires a learning process, as with everything in life.
Parenting involves a good dose of leadership, to guide and help your children develop strong personalities and become good people. The challenge is to do so without affecting their individuality and emotional health.
For this reason, it is important to learn to recognize the main characteristics of the so-called toxic parents . Only in this way will we be able to find out if we are too.
Characteristics of toxic parents
1. They often make negative statements
Toxic parents often address their children with negative phrases, such as: “You’re not good”, “Money doesn’t grow on trees” or “You’ll never do anything in life.” These kinds of statements become negative beliefs that are passed down from generation to generation, causing significant emotional damage to the child.
2. Toxic parents try to achieve their goals and dreams through their children
Toxic parents often project their dreams, goals, and all that they have failed to achieve in life onto their children. In this way, they do everything (unconsciously) for their children to realize them for them.
3. They devalue their children
When toxic parents talk to their children, they usually end the conversation with a negative or devaluing sentence. In the long run, this could transform children’s self-image. Offending your children makes you toxic parents.
4. They have a selfish attitude
Selfish parents are often the cause of suffering for their children, as they think only of themselves and care little for their needs. The toxic parent’s priority is first of all himself, putting his children in the background. This can obviously affect self-esteem and also lead to depression.
5. Toxic parents push their children towards a specific course of study
Many young people follow courses such as economics, medicine or engineering without having a real interest in the course of study in question. Over time, they realize that they have studied what their parents wanted to study when they were young, but could not study. Each person must be able to build their life based on their dreams.
6. They are too authoritarian
There are inflexible and not very tolerant parents who immediately become aggressive. Parents who exercise too much authority make their children feel bad, regardless of their feelings. As a result, once they reach adulthood they will become less cheerful and spontaneous people.
7. Toxic parents are too critical
Critical parents rarely rejoice in their children’s achievements. They don’t realize that they scold them all the time, thereby increasing and reinforcing negative behaviors. They criticize, judge, censor and condemn all the actions of the children. In this way, the children become defensive, responding with hostility and distrust.
8. They are overprotective
It is right to protect your children from dangers and bad influences. A parent becomes toxic when this protection becomes excessive. For example, when he does not allow his children to ride a bike for fear of having an accident.
Or he doesn’t let them go to a party because there are people who might have a bad influence on them. It is normal for parents to want the best for their children, but let them be free to make their own choices, as well as take responsibility for their mistakes.
9. They have bad habits
When parents have an unhealthy lifestyle, it is very likely that their children will also inherit the same habits, with the ensuing consequences. For example, if they are fed an unbalanced diet when they are young, children will tend to be overweight.
Conclusions
It can be said that children are the mirror of their parents, their most faithful projection. The best thing to do, therefore, is to educate them with the utmost respect, without committing any kind of abuse and trying to be the best parents possible.
If we find that we are limiting our children in some way and are not allowing them to develop fully, it means that we are acting as toxic parents.
