Unresolved Issues Come Back
We tend to face situations that hurt us on tiptoe, turning our backs on fear and running away from what we fear. But all the unresolved issues end up coming back.
It is useless to close your eyes and pretend that nothing is happening. The circumstances that affect us most closely are the ones we need to resolve.
How to do it? We must face them and use fear as a push to overcome them.
Unresolved issues come back, and they come back bigger
Everything that we do not solve, that we ignore, that we fear the most, we will sooner or later find ourselves in front of us again and it will be two or three times bigger. It’s a way of life to say “Hey! Not that way! ”.
If we don’t listen to it, if we don’t solve the situation, we will find ourselves again at the same point and with the same problem, but magnified.
Here are some examples:
Anna is 37 years old and all her relationships end badly. She experienced infidelity, abuse, and even a lack of commitment from the other person involved in the relationship.
What’s wrong with Anna?
Anna begins relationships with the fear of abandonment, but above all she begins them without really wanting them. She is afraid of being alone and that is why, until she gets over this fear, her relationships will continue to end badly.
Paolo, for his part, is 28 years old and cannot find a job. He has had a few, but they all lasted a few months, or a few days. When he comes to an interview they rarely call him back.
The problem that Paul has is that he has a great fear of failure, and until he overcomes this fear, there will continue to be this lack of work that signals him that he has to face unresolved issues.
Our attitude towards life is very important. The moment we have a fear or suffer a trauma that implies a block in some area, here is where the difficulties begin.
What’s the use of escaping?
Knowing all this, what’s the point of escaping? Escaping from what terrifies us, from what we try to avoid, is nothing more than a way to prolong something that strikes us and that will not go away by itself.
If we don’t address it, the problem will remain there. And the more we turn our backs on it, the more it will manifest itself with greater intensity in our life.
So escape is a counterproductive attitude. Although facing fears is not that easy.
What can we do?
- We admit we have a fear : do we run away from it, ignore it, but do we deny it? Accepting our fear is an important first step.
- Let’s find out where it came from : let’s try to remember when it first manifested itself and if we know what may have triggered it.
- We must be objective with fear : it is time to look at the fear from the outside and ask ourselves “what is the worst thing that can happen?”.
- Let’s go on an adventure : looking our biggest fears in the face is an experience, a real adventure. Do we want to prevent ourselves from experiencing it?
Will we begin to change the view of all unresolved issues?
The time has come to stop being afraid of something that can be fixed. Although it will clearly hurt, because looking at an open wound for so long burns.
However, the fact that things get worse allows us to understand that we must not overlook those barriers that are limiting us and that are making this wound even greater.
All of this will allow us to focus on it, take care of it and heal it.
It is important that it heals, that it stops being an open wound. You cannot continue to carry on what one day triggered a fear that is continuing without there really being a reason.
The fear alert us of impending danger against which we must act, fleeing or attacking.
However, when it becomes a burden on our shoulders and turns into anxiety, when it limits us and causes us insecurities in some aspects of life that are related to that fear, it is necessary to face it.
It is important to remember that all unresolved issues recur in an amplified way. It’s not bad luck, it’s not karma of any kind.
It is up to us to put an end to this. How? By being brave, looking fear straight in the eye.
